Everyone has a fantasy,

And I wonder

2009-07-09T12:03:00.002-04:00

We used to play.

We used to laugh.

We used to smile.

What happened to us?

We used to run.

We used to sprint.

We used to skip.

What happened to us?

We used to dance.

We used to wobble.

We used to cry.

What happened to us?

Where did those old times go?

They were pushed away by new ones.

But new times make us weaker.

I'm trying to fill the cracks.

It may look smooth.

But honey, it most certainly is not.

Really, I wonder, what did happen to us?

You will never be a man.

2009-06-29T16:41:00.003-04:00

There's nothing left.

You left her empty.

You took it all.

Greedily.

But these words won't stop you.

You won't even flinch.

They'll hit you but bounce right off.

And you know why these words won't hurt you?

Because when you hurt that girl,

you felt something, something you had never felt before.

For the first time in your life,

you felt like a man.

Oh snap,

2009-06-29T16:35:00.002-04:00

I would have written another one of my little poems but while I was browsing around some blogs I bumped into this one.

Why don't you check it out?

http://takeaseatandholdon.blogspot.com/

:) Have a nice day.

Day Dreaming

2009-06-25T12:03:00.002-04:00

I want to tell you why I want to leave.

Because I hate it here.

I want to tell you that you never hear me.

Because you never listen.

I want to tell you everything.

But I can't because I know what you'll do.

You'll say I'm a stupid girl.

Who should stop day dreaming.

But I never will.

Run, Run, Run

2009-06-18T09:54:00.002-04:00

You want to know what I was thinking?

I was thinking, that you had the most beautiful legs I had ever seen.

Isn't that strange?

My thought.

When you ran, your muscles shined.

And your legs became more beautiful.

Every time I saw you run that's what I thought.

And even when I can't see you,

I'll always imagine you,

running.

Emotion in My Eyes

2009-06-09T17:49:00.003-04:00

You ask:
What's the problem?

I say:
Nothing.

It is very difficult to express my emotions to people, especially you.

But when I do, you hardly listen.

What do you see in my eyes?

Sadness, fear, loneliness???

None of the above.

Just simple and plain.

But, I've learned simple and plain can be quite beautiful.

Expectations

2009-06-01T17:20:00.005-04:00

I don't know what I expected.

I guess wanted you to be around.

Like all the others.

I wanted you to hold my hand and guide me.

Kiss and hug me when I needed that comfort.

Maybe, I was just a stupid kid.

All the time I have spent crying.....

I wish you could understand.

I wish I could understand.

I miss you.

I need you.

Is it too much to ask for?

Because if it is,

please just tell me.

I'm so sorry.....

2009-05-31T20:10:00.003-04:00

I saw you in the store.

You were clutching on to a shopping cart.

Why did you look so pale?

And then I started to stare.

I kept wondering the same question.

Why did you look so pale?

Did you have some sort of disease?

I was simply wondering.

Pity.

But then I found my answer.

And I wished I had never laid eyes on you.

I felt like dinosaurs today and a bit of the book.

2009-05-05T20:31:00.004-04:00

*Isn't it true children love dinosaurs?
I like them.
Why, you've never seen them?
I don't know, something tells me they were cool.
That's stupid.
Your face is stupid. *

And here is where the real post begins. I love the back ground, it makes me smile. Most children like dinosaurs or was it Jurassic Park that killed that theory? Just like Jaws. My dad says no one went into the water after that. No one.
We dissected owl barf [I don't know if that is something we can dissect but lets say we poked through it and found a few objects]. If you are thinking owl barf is like ours, quickly get that image out of your mind. Unless your barf is black and hair-ballish than, your barf is nothing like theirs. I found a skeleton of a little mouse, I thought it was really cool. However, some people were totally grossed out by it. Tomorrow we get to dissect squid, I can't wait.
* We should keep the squid brains and stuff them in our pockets, and then throw them at random people.
Definitely.*
My dad had a great day, which is a little rare. But he's always happy [at least with me and when he's not it's only because I'm being a butt head or just being really slow]. I made a joke, I thought it was funny. Sponge Bob helped me out. :0
* Hey daddy, what do you call old men on motorcycles?
What?
The mild ones!*
Hah, I still cannot get over that. Ice cream also helped that process.
I also think my computer teacher hates me because I'm a slow typer. Everyone's finished and I'm only one lesson eight or nine. I think there's like twelve.
I also got student of the month. I hate that. You have to go up there and smile while they take a picture. The vice principle will shake hands with you [mine will be naturally sweaty]. Yakety yak.
One final statement:
*Horse poop is extremely large. *

Small Prey

2009-05-02T23:02:00.003-04:00

Read a little.
Enjoy life.
Get off the internet, haven't you heard of sex predators? They roam the internet looking for little children, like us.
But we don't like to be called little children, now do we now?
I finished my homework and now I'm watching a movie. I'm going to go to sleep soon.
Good night.
Sleep tight, and seriously get off the computer shut your eyes, turn off the lights and go to sleep.

Swelling

2009-04-29T20:10:00.002-04:00

It makes its way inside you.
Forces itself inside, whether you want it there or not.
It's there.

It slowly makes its way, it fills you up.
It swelling and it pops.
It's everywhere.

I don't ever want it to fill me up.
I already made up my mind.
I cannot risk any chances.
The consequences......

How can something so good end up so bad?
I know what happens.
It lies, it cheats, it destroys.
And once again, I ask, how could something so good end up so bad?

Together-ness

2009-04-23T18:54:00.002-04:00

I just sat there,
staring at the screen door,
wondering what was going to happen next.

I walked around a bit,
and found nothing to amuse myself with.

I tried to fiddle with my hands but it doesn't work.
I cannot stop thinking about it.

Every where I go, there's something that reminds me.
It brings back memories, so much that I'm overwhelmed with emotions and want to cry.
I'm bored, but I think it goes deeper than that...
I don't want to think about THEM.

They make me so happy, but thinking about them fills me with grief.
I want them here, so badly. I miss them so much.
I wish it wasn't like this.

I'm weak and cry, but I cannot stop myself. Tears swell up in my eyes,
I try to blink them away, but they come down too quickly.

I wish they would listen to these pleas. Not just swat them away.
People think it's simple, but it's not.
It's so complicated......

Everywhere I go the thought of them haunts me, I just want them to be here, with me.

Murderer

2009-04-17T20:00:00.002-04:00

I don't know what it's like.
But, I can imagine.

You stand there, you're so scared you cannot talk.
Should you say a prayer?
What are you supposed to do?
Tears are rolling down your face.

You think, maybe I should have gone to church with my mom.
Something holy.

Try not to be afraid.
Be strong.
Don't cry.

But, honestly tell me.

I want to kill you.
I want to call you so many names....
WTF?!

You bastard,
Does it make you feel like a man,
When you kill innocent people?

Time

2009-04-15T20:35:00.004-04:00

Sometimes, I have these crazy day dreams.
That we are dancing around having a hell of a great time.
It feels like we are saving the world.

The room spins.
I'm getting dizzy but I don't seem to care.

Am I on drugs?
I don't think so.
God knows, I hate stuff like that.

We continue to dance.
I'm getting dizzier and happier.
I'm laughing really hard.
I'm smiling.

I'm having a hell of a good time.

Envious

2009-04-12T21:51:00.003-04:00

It is so retarded.
That something like that made me cry.

I was practically blubbering.
Sobbing so hard it hurt my throat.

It was one of those things,
That made you so happy,
You were jealous.

You wanted to be in that moment.
You wanted it all for yourself.
But, you know those things don't happen.
Only in movies or books.

I believe they're called fairy tales.

I am crying again.
Harder and even louder.
Because, truthfully,
It should have been my moment.

I should have been the others envied.

2009-04-08T08:29:00.002-04:00

You have no idea what it feels like.
You are held against your will.
Trying to get it all over with.

But, you are stuck.
No one can save you.
Just get it over with.

One.
Two.
Three..
It is coming.
You were prepared.

You want to die.
You feel horrible.
You just want to lie on the floor.
Stare at the ceiling...

No one can save you,
You just have to be ready,
When it comes.

Please, notice me !

2009-04-01T21:15:00.003-04:00

We sit right next to each other.

It's been three days now.

I feel like we are getting somewhere.

I wonder, if you even notice me.

I hope you do.

Really.

It has been forever since, I have liked anyone.

Forever.

There is something about you that makes me laugh.

Like, we could be friends or more..

But, no one has ever liked me like that.

Why is that?

It really does not bother me, but sometimes..

It does.

I hope you turn my way.

Catch a few glances.

I look at you.

You, pretend like you weren't staring.

I just hope you notice.

Come fly with me

2009-03-31T19:22:00.002-04:00

I feel like were drifting.

Floating away from each other.

She says it is normal.

That it happens to everyone.

But, I don't want to leave them.

Not right now...

Sometimes, I get jealous.

I want to be more like them.

Then it stops.

And sometimes, it happens again.

But, while we are all still close.

I would just like to say to them:

I love you all.

Don't leave me now, even though I can be difficult.

Please, don't leave me now.

Who else is going to laugh at my stupid yo' mama jokes?!

Like the new back ground?!

2009-03-31T19:20:00.001-04:00

If you decide to roam around and look at previos posts.
Take a look.
Sorry if you guys missed me.
I had some growing up to do.
All problems resolved.
And I am back.
All is good.
:)

Goodbye.

2009-03-15T11:56:00.001-04:00

Good night everyone. I think I might delete this blog of mine. It is starting to bug me. And one of my beloved bloggers is not here anymore. I will bid you farewell.

In the dark you will find

2009-03-01T16:02:00.003-05:00

In the dark,
I'll sit alone,
And cry myself;
To sleep.
No one near,
To comfort me,
Or wipe away;
My tears.
I don't know why,
I weep like this,
What can it be?
Do I miss them so?
Am I lonesome?
What is it?
Come to me,
And you will see,
The one who cries,
In the dark.
Only to find,
A weeping girl,
Who misses you so DEARLY.

Sorry Story

2009-02-28T22:03:00.002-05:00

You told those stories,
So well,
They made tears well up in my eyes.
I was so jealous,
Because I wanted to be part,
Of those stories;
Too.
I wanted to be,
Part of them,
So badly.

It was more than enough

2009-02-22T15:14:00.002-05:00

It had never happened before.
I felt a little frightened.
My naturally sweaty hands were a little sweatier.
I could hear them yelling,
To one another.
Every word made it worse.
My brother and I looked at each other.
He was to young to understand.
I wished I did not understand.
The words got worse,
The yelling got a little louder,
And we both got a little more;
Frightened.
I held him tight,
Hoping he would be with me,
Till the day I was dead.
One of them,
Stormed out of the room,
Shutting the door with intensity.
I'm going out!
There we were,
Hand in hand,
Wide-eyed,
And confused.
For a second,
I feared the worst;
Had he left us?
The man who turned,
Everything around for me..
Was he gone?
Tears started coming.
I was very scared.
If he did not come back,
All I would have would be,
My brother,
And then I realized;
That would be enough.

uncomplete sentences

2009-02-17T11:50:00.002-05:00

looking around my bedroom

bored

watching a stupid reality show

looking at my dry erase board

i feel like painting something

that dude's hair is ridiculous

feeling bad for tommy who got disqualified

i think the other guy should have gotten disqualified

i want some candy

now tommy's girlfriend left him

watching another commercial now another dude went crazy

the parent's are funny

okay, so it probably feels like i am writing nothing
but i really did not want to write in complete
sentences. so sorry if it does not make sense. if
you guys want to comment, feel free to. :)
-notebook

La.

2009-02-17T11:47:00.002-05:00

So what shall I write about?
Today I woke up around ten twenty something.
I was so glad.
:) Yesterday, I woke up around seven forty four.
But tomorrow I have school.
Nothing special.
I get to see my buds.
I get to do math.
Hooray!

Bobby and I Have So Much In Common

2009-02-16T10:01:00.002-05:00

Like Bobby and his loved one I am here watching Spongebob.
Everyone thinks Spongebob is really retarded.
But I agree with Bobby and his loved one,
Spongebob really makes me laugh.
Their antics just make me smile.
Ha.
Well, anyway I bet none of you guys knew,
How much I loved Spongebob and his best chum Patrick.
:) That's okay.
I hear a dog barking in the distance.
I hear it all the time.
I really should be taking a shower,
Or else I am going to get smelly.
Everyone knows it is not sanitary to be smelly.
It is ten o' eight.
I have to be at softball at two thirty.
It ends at five o' clock.
Oh wait, now Squidward is super handsome.
He looks really hilarious.
Sorry about that.
Practice ends at five o' clock.
Hopefully Darling will be there.
I hope so :) .
Uhh, well you guys if I get to write something more exciting,
I will post.
But for right now,
Nothing special is happening.

A Headache Costs A Lot

2009-02-15T12:45:00.002-05:00

Yesterday I had a really bad headache.
It was really unbearable.
Every sound hurt.
So I put the TV on mute.
I would have turned it off.
But it was right in the middle of a movie.
A Walk To Remember.
It was about these two teenagers.
They fell in love.
One was a bad-ass boy.
Who almost killed another dude on a dare.
And the girl was the Reverend's daughter.
She was a pretty.
Real pretty.
But she dressed like a granny.
It was really sad, though.
Eventually, the boy wasn't such a bad-ass.
They were crazy about each other.
Later, the girl told the boy..
She had leukemia.
He was really heart broken.
And she was dying.
The two got married.
And about three years later.
She died.
And that is when I stopped watching.
Because the headache was unbearable.
:(
But I really wanted to keep watching.
I wondered what happened??
If anyone has seen the movie..
A Walk To Remember.
With Mandy Moore and Shane West.
Will you let me know?
Right now I am watching the Addams Family.
Nothing special.
I like Cousin It.
I remember when I used to watch Disney Channel.
Now it just drives me nuts.
Finn driving Darling a little nutty.
And me.
Single and free.
Ha ha sucker!
Just kidding, I love Darling.
:0 Well, I have to go.
Dear Bobby,
Just an idea of mine.
It is a little strange.
Anyway.. you might want to check it out.
See you later my buddies!!!
Later.
Goodnight.

Scraped and Stinged

2009-02-12T10:56:00.003-05:00

I was in a bit of a slump.

Where you have to climb

Up and up

But every time it feels

Like you have reached sucess

You go and fall back down.

I tumbled and fell.

I scraped and stinged.

I held tight and yelped.

I shut my eyes

Hoping it would soon be over.

I finally

Climbed over.

All bruised

Yet merrier than ever.

Tears weld up.

I tried to blink them away.

Tears of joy.

And overwhelement.

But I keep saying

It's finally over

But is it?

Over?

This was dedicated to a very special friend of mine, who helped me climb that slump. All I ask of her is not to give up on me. And I promise I won't give up on her. I love you.

Pain

2009-02-08T14:12:00.001-05:00

I thought it,
Over in my head,
A lot,
Until,
I finally,
Understood.
When you fell,
And scraped,
Your knee,
There was a,
Stinging pain,
In my knee.
When you jabbed,
A toothbrush,
On the top of your mouth,
The roof of my mouth,
Was aching.
What is it?
Then I finally got it;
YOUR PAIN,
IS,
MY PAIN.

Hear Me Out

2009-02-01T11:25:00.003-05:00

Those words,
Are still ringing,
In my head,
Playing over,
And over again.
If I could,
Hear them,
One more time,
I would drown,
Myself in them.
We always,
Have a choice,
But where is mine?
I am sorry,
I have failed,
Them.
I apologize,
If I am not,
Who they want,
Me to be.
Do I do,
Anything right?
I will pray,
For those,
Unlike me.

Drowned

2009-02-01T11:10:00.002-05:00

It has,
Come over me.
Practically,
Drowning me,
In itself.
Will,
I ever have,
The courage,
To free myself?
Will,
I ever have the,
Strength?
It's one of those things,
The world,
Will never,
Know.

Losing Touch

2009-01-25T12:42:00.002-05:00

And suddenly,
It was like a dream.
Foggy,
And distant.
Something,
I knew,
I would not,
Remember in the morning.
I was,
Much quieter,
Than usual.
Stranger,
Than usual.
As if,
I did not even,
Know who I was,
Anymore.
But,
What has happened to me?
I guess,
My spirit,
Was Lost.

Reality Is Here

2009-01-19T11:03:00.002-05:00

Sirens flail,

People run,

I have failed,

And you are there.

Helpless,

Defenseless,

You are there,

Looking at me,

With a look,

Of fear.

I don't know,

What to do.

I just wish,

You had looked back,

Took my hand,

And walked away with me.

Daydreams fade,

Fantasy gone,

Nothing but reality.

But,

I won't give up,

On you.

Let those,

Sirens flail,

May those,

People run,

Go ahead,

Let me fail,

And even,

Let,

You lay there.

The only words,

That cross my mind,

Are;

I'm sorry.

And;

I love you.

One Solitary Life

2009-01-18T11:19:00.002-05:00

He was born in a village.

He worked in a carpenter's shop until He was thirty.

He never held an office.

He never owned a home.

He never had a family.

He never went to college.

He never traveled far from home.

His friends betrayed Him.

He was nailed to a cross,

In between to thieves.

His exucutioners,

Gambeled on his only possesion;

A coat.

And now look at it,

He is "The central figure of the human race."

He's just Jesus.

Emotions Make You Laugh

2009-01-12T19:44:00.003-05:00

Laughter,

Stormed out everywhere,

It was contagious.

Laughter,

Came out of me,

Exploding.

Laughter,

That makes you cry.

People,

Around me,

May have thought;

I was insane.

But,

Something Inisde of me,

Had just come out.

His laughter,

Made my laughter,

Even more hysterical.

It made you feel;

Happy,

And joyous.

I knew it,

Because of people's,

Crazed smiles.

I know when people are happy.

And they were happy!

Hooray!

This Will Last Forever

2009-01-11T10:52:00.002-05:00

People thought,

I was stupid.

For,

Speaking to him.

But I knew,

He could hear me.

Even,

When he was inside,

I felt a connection.

There,

Was something holding us,

Together.

Something,

No matter what the pain,

Would hold us.

Something,

Powerful,

Tight,

Boundless.

I do not know,

If you understand,

But I feel strongly about this.

Something,

Does hold us together.

And,

Its powerful.

But,

Most importantly,

It's eternal.

No Human Being Could Ever Be This Cruel

2009-01-06T19:34:00.003-05:00

When I hear her name,

I have no pity,

Just pure hatred.

I know,

This must sound simply atrocious,

But it is the truth,

And I will not lie to you.

(Lets get back to the poem.)

When,

I see her face on photos,

A fire burns,

Inside me,

That cannot be tamed.

When,

People speak of the,

Disgusting things she did,

I feel enfuriated.

Whenever,

Something reminds me of her,

I feel sorry,

For those whom,

She has caused pain.

Because,

I know she has caused pain.

Pain,

That can never be erased from anyone's memory.

Pain,

That will leave a mark,

Forever.

I know she,

Has a problem.

Because,

No human being,

Could ever be that cruel.

None.

There hearts,

Are broken.

Scattered.

If I knew something,

That could mend them.....

They were only children,

Waiting for her to love them,

But sadly she never did.

The Nightmare of Death

2009-01-05T10:07:00.003-05:00

I had never been,

So terrified,

At a nightmare.

It might have been a nightmare,

but it seemed,

So realistic.

I could still feel,

The fear rushing through my body,

Making me weak,

And fragile.

I could,

See images,

Running through my head.

Spinning around,

In circles,

Turining faster and faster.

In the nightmare,

Death had come,

Like smoke,

Right there,

But untouchable.

She was picking flowers from the garden,

Looking as innocent as ever.

And death,

Had snoke up on her,

Teasing her,

Circiling around her,

Wrapping itself around her,

Until it would not release her.

She was,

As helpless as ever,

Weak,

And not even trying.

All of a sudden,

Like a savior,

I came running towards her,

Trying to bring her back,

Yelling at her,

Touching her,

But it was useless.

No,

Breathing.

No,

Smiling.

Just,

An expression,

Of pure,

Horror.

She,

Was,

DEad.

And I sat there trembiling,

next to her.

Waiting,

By any luck of chance,

That she might come back.

But she never did.

Never.

Love Has No Boundries

2009-01-04T23:24:00.003-05:00

From the moment I laid eyes on him,

I knew I loved him.

Something about him,

That made him seem,

So loving.

The way,

We were so much alike.

The way,

He adored me.

At times,

My love for him,

May have seem twisted,

But only because,

The intensity of my love for him,

Had no boundries.

But our love for each other,

Is special.

It is not something,

You will find every day.

It's exceptional.

We love each other,

In such boundless ways,

In such obssesion-ess ways,

That it is far too complicated too understand.

But,

It's complicated because it's so simple;

We love each other.

And thats that.

Naive, Faithful Little Girl

2009-01-04T11:13:00.003-05:00

You are scared for me.

Because you know I am naive.

You think people will get away,

from the pain they may cause me.

You worry,

Because of me.

About me.

For me.

You should know,

I am naive.

And I am scared,

No terrified.

I feel,

Like I cannot trust anyone.

No one.

Not even the people I thought I loved.

Sometimes I am hopeful,

hoping that I will have faith in someone.

Someone,

Who will not betray me,

Or cause me any sort of pain.

There are times,

When I look at you,

And you look at me.

And I wonder......

If you have faith in me?

Will,

You ever?

Now?

In the next life?

When?

For now,

I will be the one little girl.

Who is naive.

Terrified.

But,

I promise you this,

I was,

And will always be the "little girl",

Who had faith in you.

Now, it's your turn,

To look at me,

And answer the question.

You Left Something

2009-01-03T09:38:00.002-05:00

Everytime you leave,

It seems like you take a part of me with you.

I watch you go,

sorrowfully, hoping one day you will stay.

When you're gone,

I feel broken.

Shattered.

I wish you would stay here with me.

Hug me.

Kiss me.

Teach me.

Love me.

When will be the day,

You come home?

And stay forever.

I miss you.

Can't you hear?!

I-Miss-You!!!

Until you come home,

You should know,

You left behind,

Someone who you said you loved.

Think about it.

Never Felt Like This

2009-01-02T20:39:00.003-05:00

I could not remember the last time I felt like this;

Envious.

It had been a long time.

It seemed,

She was perfect.

Everything.

Anything.

....Something.

It was not the same kind of envious,

You would find in most teenage girls.

It was,

So much more than that.

Fury.

Jeolousy.

All of the above.

I wanted to scream.

I never felt like this.

Overall,

I felt angry at myself.

And

I guess that was the biggest thing of all.

Anger

And jelousy.

Aren't those two of the seven deadly sins? No,, I only think its jelousy. Hmmm...

Nothing Could Compare

2009-01-01T21:35:00.002-05:00

I was wrapped around its clutches.

It was holding on to me tighter and tighter.

I tried to fight.

Harder.

And harder.

Faster.

And faster.

Stronger.

And stronger.

Until, finally I gave up.

I did not try;

Harder.

Or faster.

Not even,

To be stronger.

I just gave up.

After a while.

I withered.

And got fraile.

Up to the point.

Where I knew....

But suddenly.

I felt it.

Joy.

And peace.

And love.

A joy, peace, and love no human being could never give me.

Something,

So immense,

So vibrant,

And beautiful,

And full of happiness,

That nothing could ever compare to it.

Nothing.

And for the first time,

In a very long time,

I felt whole.

And well.

A New Sucker

2008-12-31T22:17:00.003-05:00

I really wanted to write a poem today.

But I really could not think of one, only one on insanity, which by the way would not have been about me.

Hmmm?

Honestly.

That was a joke.

Sorry about my bland sense of humor.

Anyway since I cannot think of a poem,

Why not tell you about my day?

I woke up dazed.

Sleeppy.

After having a tommy ache the night before.

Remembering I was going to go to the beach.

I quickly dashed off into the bathroom to pee.

Ha, and change into my bathing suit.

I went to the beach with my 'rents, brother, cousin, and uncle.

Cousin, ey?

She is a new yorker.

Violent.

In a "teasing" kind of way.

But hurtful.

She bit me.

"TEasingly."

But it really hurts.

I love her anyway.

No matter, what kind of butthead, she really is.

We made a hysterical video.

I videotaped.

And she was the star.

It was hilarious.

Honestly.

Wish I could show it to you guys but I cannot.

It was aboiut her hatred of green tea.

(She was joking.)

(She and I love green tea.)

( We're addicted.)

Spitakes.

Jokes.

All of that good stuff.

Back to the beach.

It was quite intresting, actually.

She found six dollars!

In the ocean!

Are you cereal?

For real she did.

Then we went to Ihop.

Loved it!

I had chocalate chip pancakes.

Healthy?

Not really.

And they were horrible.

Dissapointing.

I usually " come hungry, leave happy."

But not today.

After that.

We set up my new Wii.

Did I tell you guys I got one of those?

For Christmas?

I love it!

Billy, was right.

It is the best.

Played Wii sports.

My favorite is boxing.

Man, did I open up a can of WHOOP-ASS.

Guess what we did afterwards?

Pool time.

No bikini's for me.

I look like a freakshow in one of those.

One piece.

Or a tankini.

Played Marco Polo.

I suck at it.

I am always the one saying Polo!

And getting caught.

Because I cannot stop laughing.

It was exhausting.

So tiring.

Ahhh.

Sleppy head.

Took a shower.

Because my head smelled like chlorine.

EEEWW!

I hate the smell.

But I am always, smelling like that.

Got ready for the new years eve "partyyy"!

And it was kind of boring.

My cousin fell asleep.

And almost everybody left.

Come home, kind of tired.

Daddy promised to wii box with me.

And it was a blast.

I swear.

He was the funnest and most hilarious person to bow with.

Back in the day thats what he used to do.

Now I am here communicating.

A very exciting day.

But sort of sad.

Because I am too tired too think of a poem.

Drifting off.

Bow tow row.

Job lob rob yob sob.

Leak Beak Sleak.

Tat Rat Snat.

Foohy Moohy Choohy.

Retard Fetard.

Done.

Goodnight.

I am soo tired.

Check out "Human Sky" my last post.

And comment on that also.

I thought it was a good post.

At least, I thought so.

Outrageous.

Is living life to the fullest.

Out-ra-Ge-Ous!

Joke of the day;

Where did the one legged lady work?

Ihop.

Human Sky

2008-12-30T21:26:00.002-05:00

As I looked out into the night sky.

It was amazing.

Breathtaking.

And I knew something...

It was so beautiful, but deadly.

It had the utterly most beautiful, breathtaking appearance about it.

Any yet at the same time, you knew it was filled with hatred.

This caught my attention.

Because it kind of reminded me of people.

How our appearance can acutally be rather stunning.

Meanwhile, we are the most vial creatures that ever walked this planet.

Are we the demons?

Do we make this Earth hell?

Are we all evil?

I wish someone could answer these questions.

But I have the feeling,

The answer is not that far away.

It's waiting for us.

To ask for it.

To reach for it.

And then, it will come.

Like a savior.

And then,

We will all go back,

To being pure And,

Innocent.

But until then,

How will you look at the night sky?

That we all thought we knew all too well.

But in fact;

We did not know at all.

Damn. Love Urself! Would Ya.

2008-12-29T22:04:00.003-05:00

I fooled everyone.

Myself included.

Dissapointed.

Was more like it.

Why do I have to be like this?

Engraged.

Depressed.

I want to smile.

And be happy.

Beam.

When I see people I love.

But I do that.

So what the hell's wrong?

I finally figured it out.

Myself.

"How can you love someone else, but not youself."

How true that is.

Something I need to learn.

Damn.

I really am stupid.

Foolish.

Damn, yes I am.

FEARful.

Of myself.

Thoughts

2008-12-29T11:22:00.002-05:00

I am going to write one of my "poems", but first I want all of you people who read this blog to help me.

I need some writing ideas.

Any.

Anything.

Get creative.

Whatever intrests you.

Just give me ideas!

I spent all night trying to think of some but none came to mind.

So honestly.

Please try to think of some.

I need that much from you guys.

Okay here's the poem.

Hope you enjoy it:

The damage was done.

And the situation was helpless.

Everyone was angry.

Including myself.

I could feel the anger.

I was more then angry, I was furious.

At the exact moment.

It came to me, a thought so inspicable, so cruel, I could not even fathom that I was thinking it.

I wanted to kill him.

But I knew I would not.

It made me see twisted.

I wanted to make him feel miserable, the way I did.

I wanted him to feel pain.

Thoughts raced through my head.

Faster.

And faster.

By the minute.

Helpless.

Terrrified.

I sat there, trembiling with fear, of myslef.

Wondering, why I had to be like this.

I wanted to shout.

In pain.

In sorrow.

Lordie, Help Me

2008-12-28T15:58:00.003-05:00

Okay.

Help me here Lord.

Because I am sorta confused about the whole "tagged" thing.

I checked out a blog.

To get some help.

And the person put random facts.

So I guess it is my duty to do what they did.

Follow in their footsteps.

Soooo.....

Here it goes.

1. I am not a big fan of malls. Their prices are wayy too high and they always make me clastrophobic, even when there's not that many people around.

2. I really dislike when people refer to blondes as dumb. Its not that I am one. Because I'm not. Trust me.

3. I get good grades and all but sometimes I can be pretty dumb. For example I can't even get my sliding door to open. I always have to ask someone to open it for me.

4. Ever since I watched the movie "The Notebook" I always wondered if that kind of love is true.

5. I absoloutley love it when people smell nice.

6. Camels, Toucans, and Platapuses are my favorite animals.

7. My mom says I am not allowed to date until I am twenty one but my dad says sixteen. I'm gonna go with my dad. Although dating isn't something I am actually looking forward too.

8. I hate when "friends" all of a sudden turn on you. And stab you in the back. Leaving you wounded.

What a list!

Now I am done.

Tired.

See you guys.

Don't give up on me.

You know who I am.

In Honor

2008-12-28T00:16:00.002-05:00

You haven't suffered, yet.

You've been lucky.

Very lucky.

One day, you'll see things will go off, and then.....

I wanted to go to him.

To comfort him in every way possible.

But I knew I could not do it.

Because I did not know how.

He looked so sad.

No, thats not the word...

Worried is more like it.

He looked so worried.

She was sick.

He was worried because she was sick.

He loved her.

She was the love of his life.

And she was sick.

She was old now so he did not know what the consequences would be.

Fatal?

We all hoped not.

We never bragged not one bit.

Modest people we were.

And your grandmother...

Boy was she the heavens.

She was everything.

I love her.

Those were the words of "he."

This post is in thier honor.

They are not dead.

But they deserve it.

After everything.

Fluttery :0

2008-12-17T19:25:00.002-05:00

Changed is a word very commonly used.

I use it quite frequently also.

Change has happened.

Leaving behind with it a pile of ash.

I should have seen it coming.

I am noticing it.

Kendall, a younger little boy is totally in love with me.

All of a sudden I had a fluttery sort of feeling.

One that was strange but thrilling at the same time.

Flattery.

This was the first I had ever really felt it.

And it was wonderful.

Now there is a reason to smile.

Things could not be more perfect.

I am glad.

I am studying.

Hard.

Well a medium hard 'cause of I really was studying hard I would not be on my blog.

Things are a little hectic.

The play is tommorow.

Wish me good luck.

You effin know I will do well.

I am a little terrified but overjoyed at the same time.

Thank you for choosing to read this.

Hope you liked this post.

Bye.

Mel

A Lesson Worth Learning

2008-12-16T19:55:00.002-05:00

Just to let you know this happened a long time ago.

Okay here it goes.....

I had never seen him cry.

Seeing him like that scared me.

A lot.

I wanted it all to end.

Why was he crying?

I knew it would cross the line if I asked why...

So I just sat there looking at the windshiled like nothing was happening.

But something was happening.

Something big.

And I knew it.

Even if I did not know spefically what it was it was happening.

And it was time I get my head out of the clouds.

I was worried.

About myself.

About everybody.

But mostly about myself.

Like the selfish little girl I am.

He would stop eventually.

I knew it.

But why not stop and look at me?

Was this how I looked when I cried?

Was this the feeling that he felt when I cried?

What was happening?

All these questions were spinning around and around..

Rapidly and getting faster and faster.

He started telling me in between sobs...

And I understood.

Why he cried.

And I knew I would cry if it were me.

And then I felt worse.

And guilty.

I wanted to make him feel better.

Pleasant.

Maybe.

Or at least just happier.

And the rest is blur.

But strangely I remember the night as if it were yesterday.

And I still get that feeling.

Cry all you want.

Things are not going to get any better.

And this little "poem" has taught me so.

Now it's time you learn it too.

Crappity Crap is Just A Flappin' Phrase! Grrr..

2008-12-15T20:51:00.002-05:00

I had tried to block everything out of my mind.

I tried to turn the music all the way up.

Tried and tried...

But failed.

It all came up even worse.

Stacking up, one on top of another...

Fuzzier and more confusing than ever.

Frustration hit me, hard.

And I started cursing...bad.

I wanted to cry out of the total stress...

The overwhelment.

Everything just seemed soo..

Then I heard it...

The song that changed it all....

I DON'T CARE!

And I relaxed...

I honestly did not care...

And that scared me..

That I did not care about it.

So I worked twice as hard as I normally did.

And now its just me..

Here typing these funky-licious words, that probably don't make sense.

So here is the quote...

" Don't cry, laugh!"

~ Meli

Good bye.

Love you all.

Wink.

This is a cheap post.

But I hope you like it...

A little at least.

Hugs.

Good Reads

2008-12-14T11:50:00.003-05:00

Whenever I take a ride in the car, I usually don't say anything.

I like to open the window all the way down.

I love to feel the wind blow through my hair.

And I love turning the music all the way up, till it hurts my ears.

Everything seems perfect in the car.

There nothing can bother me..

Nothing.

Not even the tiniest hint of a conversation starter.

Thats how I like it.

But then I start to feel a little guilty because my 'rents are there and all that.

And I hate when there's that awkward silence.

It scares me.

It's like that everyday...

Wonderful..

But what about rain?

I love rain.

It makes me feel wonderful.

I mean a lot of people try to not get wet.

I do that, not willingly though.

I usually feel like running out and skipping and all that.

But nope...

Everyone else thinks that they are little grains of sugar...

Waiting to be dissolved from the rain water.

Okay today I gave you guys two "poems".

Hope you like them.

Comment on them seriously.

Welll...

In a little while I will go to Angeli's house for a study date.

I cannot wait.

I mean we will study..

Honestly.

I won't be like a hobo or something.

Wait what?

Okay never mind.

I had bannana chocalte chip pancakes which are absouloutley fantabioulous!

Ymmm!

Hope you classify this blog as "good reads".

See ya!

~ Me

" What doesn't kill me only makes me stronger. "

Hearbraking

2008-12-13T21:24:00.003-05:00

This is for James.

I hope this makes you happy.

'Cause it sure does for me.

Well enjoy.

Oh and by the way I am watching "Narnia"...

Or something like that.

Watching them leave was rather heartbraking.

It left you with that big lump, where you so much feel like crying but you simply cannot.

I tried to look away but I knew how guilty I would feel if I did.

Times were getting difficult.

I could not complain.

Or act like a bitchy teenager.

Anything...

I had to be the perfect little angel I always am.

He held me tight.

Wondering if he was thinking what I was I held on even tighter.

They were way out of eye distance...

And I already missed them.

I wished both of them would turn around and realize how I felt.

I hoped that he would stop crying and and look at my face, which by the way was now tear stained.

But they just went on doing their daily routine.

And I the same.

All I ever wondered is if things would ever change.

The heartbreak.

The missing.

Everything.

Even before I had met him, I wondered.

Now I felt alone.

The wind blew.

It was chilly, and it gave me goose bumps.

I went inside...

Sad for a moment.

And then relaxed.

Forgeting everything.

Well...

That was good.

I hope you guys have an awesome Chirstmas.

I am not sure I will.

Hope so.

But for right now..

Good bye.

And I will study.

I promise.

You too, cousin.

Do well.

Smiling.

Laughing.

Joking.

Uhhh...

See yah!

"TURKEY!"

I hope you have figured out who I am.

Wink

Changed

2008-12-13T08:21:00.002-05:00

So I have changed completely in my attitude.

I am no longer depressed.

Did everyone hear that?

Okay....

I am going to post some things to my lovely audience.

I was just wondering two things.....

First, is this expression a good thing.

That sucks major ass.

I heard someone say that.

And I was like is that suppsed to be sexual?

I did not know what to think.

So I was wondering if you people knew.

And another thing...

Boogus.

Thats a good thing right?

I suppose so.

Some people may hate me for this.

In fact I sort of hate myself for doing this but..

I am reading New Moon.

The sequel to Twilight.

After pracitcally everyone being obssesed I took a shot at it.

And here I am reading it.

I am only on page twenty-seven.

Not that bad...

My cousin said she thought New Moon was a little boring.

Hmmmm...

Who knows???

I was thinking of writing a book.

Yes it seems sort of childish...

But here tell me if you like this;

It scared me how intensly he looked at me, with those masculine big brown eyes.

They were practically burning into my skin.

I could not belive he was mine, all mine.

Why did he look at me that way?

It was the sort of way a hawk looks at a poor innocent bunny.

Being with him was like flying.

You felt wonderful and free, and you could do anything you pleased.

That was a little uhh!

But I don't think I will write love stories.

Probably poems.....

Or something.

Well....

I am hungry and its only eight thirty-three.

God bless you all.

Is that appropriate to say?

Hmmm...

What I meant was be safe.

Ohh and I finally figured out what this means;

btw

It means by the way!

Score.

I did it

"SQUID!"

Boogus

2008-12-11T17:10:00.003-05:00

You guys are either too busy too comment or too lazy too comment.

I have nothing against either.

The play rehearsal is tommorow.

Its turning out really well.

My shortness has led to the fact that I have to be in front.

Hoo rah.

Okay...

I am sorry..

That is totally Darling's thing.

Sorry Darling.

Anyway.

Is there anything 'happenin'?

Hmmm...

Well i'm being widely known for my laugh.

At least in school.

Softball.

Is coming soon.

Lyd was crying because she did not get any awards for science fair.

I have two words.

Bull and shit.

Because for her to be crying is wrong.

She thinks that she worked harded than everybody else.

And that she deserves to get something.

What the hell?

Everyone worked hard at science fair!

Everyone.

Even Anton.

Ha ha.

Well...that can be discussed.

Anyway.

I just thought that was totally boogus of her.

Wait...

Boogus is bad right?

I'm pretty sure.

I love you all.

My Mom's coming soon.

Yes!

Good night.

Everything is going well.

And I'm jolly.

See you.

Malcom.

Does anyone even like that name?

Hmmm...

I wonder.

Bye.

Softie

2008-12-10T18:48:00.002-05:00

Conditioned for softball.

I'm doing pretty good.

Yes.

Well.

I'm going out for dinner.

With my brother and father.

Maybe Applebee's....or something.

Who knows.

I don't know.

Hmmm....

I'm so bored.

Well got to go.

All day today..

people asked me to laugh for them.

I tried.

But anyway.

Yeah.

Bye.

Wink.

You know who I am!

Realization

2008-12-08T19:24:00.002-05:00

Today I realized a couple of things.

First, I am a vampire.

Not literally and intentionally.

Okay so here's what happened.

We were playing basket ball.

I get agressive by the way...

Thats what basket ball is all about.

When my friend tried to get the ball from me.

It all happened so fast.

My mouth opened and closed, rather quickly actually.

There are still bit marks on her and myself.

Her bites are one her middle finger.

And mine on the bottom side of my wrist.

This is very strange.

And very real.

Only this could happen to me.

Second, Softball is coming soon.

Thats not worth talking about.

But I just wanted to tell you guys.

Third, midterms are next week.

WTF?

They came by so quickly.

Everything is coming on so heavily.

I feel like a walnut.

Seriously.

And I have to study and like.

Uhhh!

Its so annoying.

Fourth, the play is also next week.

I hate that.

I mean I will have fun.

I promise.

Its just that everythin is a blur.

Okay.

Fifth, is relationships.

Boys and girls.

Birds and the Bees.

All that.

Its sorta grossing me out.

No...

I need to phrase it better.

What I mean to say is that.

Everywhere I turn I see people are "together."

It just makes me feel awkward.

Who knows?

Maybe i'm just secretly jealous.

But I don't know.

Fifth, I have a doll who is now going with me everywhere.

You should know one thing.

This doll is not just any doll.

Nope.

It's special.

It made me meet people.

People who I love.

The doll is in a male form.

I named it Billy.

After my Daddykinz.

I have had this doll for quite some time.

It's one of those special ones that you may never out grow.

Sixth, I should be happy.

I mean seriously.

I love to laugh.

All the time.

It makes me feel good.

I'm surronded by people who love me.

And if they don't who gives a damn.

Thats my motto.

"Who gives a damn."

Just kidding.

Well...

I have told you many things.

About my day.

Over all it was a very good day.

:) That was a smiley face.

I am happy.

Honeslty.

I would like to thank;

my friends

my parents

and possibly Jeffery A. who showed me that "enemies" aren't really enemies.

Wink wink.

Good night.

Sleep tight.

And study.

Quesy

2008-12-07T12:29:00.002-05:00

I did not post in like maybe one day.

Sorry.

But anyway.

Harry Potter Weekend.

Thats what I'm watching.

And I'm working on science fair.

Blah!

Parade.

Was fun I guess.

Maybe.

I almost stepped in horse poop.

It smelled reallt bad.

But they had bags under their rear ends so that it did not go on the street.

Okay, talking about horse poop is making me quesy.

So I'll stop.

In the middle of walking for what seemed like forever...

I felt like I was dreaming.

Maybe drunk.

It was horrible.

There was a lot of people.

We waved.

We laughed.

All that.

Good stuff.

Christmas is coming soon.

I'm so going to see the new Harry Potter movie.

I cannot wait.

I even saw "the exclusive sneak peak".

Well.

What's new in my life?

Let me think.

I forgot my uniform in school.

I'll probably have to get a uniform infraction.

Oh my lordie.

I was worried.

And then I felt wimsicale.

I love that word.

It means something like care free.

Anyway.

I don't know.

My step brother's here.

The "hot" one as one of my buds puts it.

Wink.

He's funnny.

But I felt like such a loser.

Because I was so quiet.

And trust me I would have talked its just that...

I did not know what to say.

So I went to bed upset.

And cried myself to sleep.

Slid a note under my pop's bed.

Saying how I'm growing up.

Scared.

Confused.

Frightened.

At the same time.

Teenager.

I guess you can say.

I'm tired of being sad.

Uhhh!

Its so freaking annoying.

Wait is it freaking.

Ot freakin'?

Who knows?

Well...

Magic.

Is cool.

Where have youuu been!?

They were starving him! Mom please.

I'm so bored.

Gonna try to decorate my project.

Lost in my fantasies.

Had pancakes and bacon.

Yummy.

At the new diner.

Sunset Diner.

Its new.

And we have never been there before.

But it was good.

Good eats.

It started raining gumballs.

I love that.

Welll.

Good bye.

I feel like nerds.

You know the candy.

Little circles.

Yeah.

Well.

See yah.

Male

2008-12-05T16:49:00.002-05:00

Men.

Don't say that word out loud in front of my mother.

And put me in the same sentence.

She's very touchy in the subject.

Very.

She thinks they will distract me.

You'll get bad grades.

They'll make you do things.

Don't believe anything they say!

They only want one thing.

They say what all the doctors say...take your clothes off.

With her I am not allowed to date until I'm twenty one.

Of course my Daddy says sixteen.

So I'll go with the sixteen.

Yep.

I get it boys can be pigs.

Some.

Maybe a lot.

But I don't think all.

You know all my concepts on love.

And all of that.

At least I think you do.

Well.

Anyway.

Today was a long day.

I danced a lot.

Now I'm gonna walk.

A lot.

Yes.

Well.

My little brother is being so cute.

But annoying.

Thats him though.

Well bye.

Me.

Nightmare

2008-12-04T20:30:00.002-05:00

What I dreamed about;

I was trapped.
In the worse place I could think of besides hell.
He was right there beside me.
Looking at me.
With the big dark brown intensive eyes.
That so much resembled mine.
I hoped he would not say the words that I dreaded.
And of course they were the first words out of his mouth.
I love you.
At that point something had snapped inside of me.
I sobbed, really really hard.
I was lying on the floor.
Practically twitching.
He came over and put his hairy arms around me.
I tried to pull them off.
But he was too strong.
He was not hurting me.
He was totally clueless.
Of the fact I hated him.
Because he had broken her heart.
I wanted to yell at him.
To make him feel miserable.
How was I supposed to love him?
How?
They all said the same thing...
You should love him because he's your ------.
(That was not a curse word it was just a person involved in my life who I would not like to put).
I was still crying.
Really hard.
Through the sobs I yellled at him;
Why?
Why did you do it?
How could you?
While I was in her?
Thinking you were the best ------ ever.
But you weren't.
You betrayed her.
You betrayed us!
I will never forgive you for that!
And for that reason, you no longer are my ------.
He replied;
I'm sorry.
You're right.
If I was you I would not forgive myself either.
I'd hate me.
And I'm truelt sorry.
It was a big mistake that happened a long time ago.
(He looked down in shame)
(At this point his hands were not around me)
I could see tears in his face.
You know what I did?
What I never thought I would do..
I went over to him gave him a kiss.
And said "I forgive you."

Thats when I woke up.
Disturbed.
Confused.
Annoyed.
All of that.

I don't know if it was a message from God or what?
But I think it meant something.
Something.
But who knows what.
I need advice.
Tell me what you think.
Please.

:(
Dream?
More like a nightmare.

Coolness

2008-12-03T18:56:00.002-05:00

Well well well.
Today I was in a good mood all the way through.
I almost fell asleep in church.
Seriously.
I had to keep rubbing my eyes in order to stay awake.
Made people laugh.
Which always makes me happy.
:)
See?
Well...
Today was all goood.
You know what I mean.
I got the dance moves good.
Did not fail.
I did pretty good.
Yes!
I'm going to watch Criminal Minds.
I love that show.
But its on at nine.
And its only seven.
So bummer.
Yeah.
I am soo happy.
Yes.
Confessed my sins today.
That felt good.
Really.
I did.
Priests.
Lets talk about them.
They cannot have any family is what I'm told.
GOD is thier lover.
Personally, I think Roman Catholic is very confusing.
I mean really.
If God is all good and loving why does he put us through pain?
If he loves us then..why let us suffer?
Wouldn't you agree?
I mean honestly I do not comprehend it.
But I think priests should have families.
Tell me what you think.
That would be intresting.
Did our speil thingys.
Mine was okay except that I kind of sucked.
Does that make sense?
It does not even make sense to myself.
I am such a ninny.
Uhh!
:)
What do you want for Christmas?
Hmmm... A random good book.
Uh okay. I'll make sure it's really long.
Okay, thanks.
That was my conversation with my sister.
Shhh!
I think she's my secret santa.
Why would she ask me otherwise?
Who knows.
Well.
Hmmm.
I was listening to the radio.
Then something totally random came up.
It made me laugh.
So come on down and;
Rent a heffer!
And we all know what a heffer is.
A cow.
Don't refer to someone as a heffer.
That would be really mean.
In the sense that they are fat.
I'm watching the movie;
CARS
And I like it.
Its kind of kiddy-ish.
But what the hell?
Right.
Thats my motto.
What the hell?
Not really..
I don't belive in mottos.
Because every day your learning something new.
And you want that to be your motto.
So then you will have a motto for everyday.
Wait.
Maybe I should have a motto.
Hmmm.
If you guys have a motto.
Comment it.
I would like to know.
Yeah.
Today was a good day.
I love all you people.
Who comment.
And follow.
Thanks for being cool.
Coolness.
I love that word.
Its soo....cool.
See yah.
And have a good night.
And I have a test on Fri.
Yeah.
I will make sure to study.
So I can get a good grade.
Watched a commercial and here's the line;
Amy was even hotter than her sister!
Well yeah.
Good night.
Bye.
Don't be in a bitchy mood.
:0
Anyone <3

Go Away!

2008-12-02T17:52:00.002-05:00

You better have come to this blog to read because today I am going to type a lot.

I think you should know that I am in a real bitchy mood.

And I mean really.

Today was not a good day.

One of those days where you cannot do anything right.

It started out alright.

Made some jokes and people laughed.

Even the "plastic" sitting next to me.

Which I hope you all know I am not very fond of.

Practiced lines for the service on Friday.

Picked up posters.

Although I kept dropping them.

Lets just say everything before lunch and during lunch was fine.

Then came computer.

I always strongly dislike computer.

Very strongly.

Then social studies...

I'll have you know it is my favorite subject.

And I totally failed the test.

And this time I am not using that sentence lightly.

Uhhhh!

What the....???

What next but journalism???

But I was wisped away by Patrick.

A super annoying kid...

Who makes you feel like stabbing your hand with a pencil.

I'm serious.

He is like uhhh!

Pulling your hair out "uhhhh!"

What I meant to get too was.

That I went to drama instead.

To rehearse for the play.

That I will be in.

Which I so don't want to be in.

I cannot memorize alll those dance moves in just three be'jeezin days.

Sigh {really loud}.

I cannot sing!

I cannot do anything.

When she said "Your not in the rythm."

I was about to cry.

Not because I'm some freak who has to be perfect.

But because of all the overwhelment.

I just want to break down and slap something.

Preferrably a person.

Anyone who lets me.

...

....

Extended day...

Boring.

It used to be fun now its just a drag.

Then my Daddy came to pick me up.

Limping.

Something was the matter with his foot.

Came home.

And the effin computer almost broke down.

I was like freaking out.

What the....?

I started crying.

Seriously..

I know,

CRYING SOLVES NOTHING!

But in this case I felt it was neccesary.

Because after feeling like turd for a day

you just have to let it out.

But I fixed it.

Thats why I'm posting.

Telling you about an extremly atrocious day.

Well lunch was fun at least.

Was with my pals.

Laughing my head off.

Like I always do.

Acting like a complete loser.

I will be better tommorow.

Hopefully.

You want me better don't you?

Well you know what to do.

Comment me.

I was about to write call me.

When I realized.

Yeah.

I still feel like typing.

La la.

I am so uhhh!

Wait let me get this out.

Uhhh!

UHHH!

HUUUUU!

WOWZEERS!

HA HA HA HA.

SOB.

CRY CRY.

WA WA WA.

Okay.

Well I hope you guys had a good day.

Unlike me.

Bye.

Posted By:

ANYONE

Quitter

2008-12-01T18:30:00.002-05:00

I'm not swimming.

I just quit.

I am going back to school sports.

My pride and joy.

Not really.

But at least I get to see my friends.

Yes.

Saw a batman shirt and I was going to get it.....

When I saw the price tag!

It was thirty bucks!

I almost had a fit in the store.

No shirt should be worth that much.

It was insane.

Today was a slam dunk show.

They were good.

Little kids hollored.

Riley { a pre-k'er that I love} was dancing.

She was so adorable.

Was a vip and it was so not worth it.

Popcorn?

Water?

A few questions?

That was not good.

But I stand by what I said to my class mates.

It would have been more intresting if they took they're shirts off.

I mean it would have.

Thats not being a pervert.. is it??

At least I don't think sooo...

But if it is you tell me.

My favorite one was G.T.

He was 24 and had a tat.

Of a cross.

Stay holy man!

And he had a squeaky voice.

The cleaning lady is here.

No I am not rich.

No I do not have a butler.

I'm normal.

Or as normal, as I could be.

Anyway.

Social studies test tommorow.

And I think I might do bad.

Studied.

Maybe I need to study harder.

Who knows.

No vocab plates.

Was just informed by one of my buds.

Christmas play.

I'm going to be in it.

Sounds great?

Its not.

Personally I did not want to be in it.

I just "had" too because I am in drama class.

Good thing I'm only an extra.

A rock n' roller.

Doesn't sound bad.

I still have th poodle skirt from two years ago.

I'm having a flashback.

Where are you Daddy?

I want some pizza.

Got the rumbles.

And I am hungry.

Uhhh!

Welll.....

Oh yeah on the whole "play" thing.

We have like a two hour practice on Friday?

What the hell?

Uhhh!!

Friday is my day.

Not really.

I'm just really lazy and probably don't feel like dancing.

Or yelling.

Or anything.

Well.

Turning

2008-11-30T12:41:00.003-05:00

Like always I procrastinated.

Is that a good thing?

Nope.

But I finally did my science experiment.

It was really messy.

And wet.

And very soily.

So I did it with my pj's on.

Won't be sleeping in those for a while!

Drew graphs.

And all that.

Tommorow my Daddy said I would continue to swim.

I wanted to start school sports again.

Softball.
Basket ball.

And maybe cross country.

But now the only one I can do is softball.

Yes.

I love throwing that ball.

Today, unbelively my room is clean.

I am going to try to leave it this way.

I did three trials.

Uhhh!

Tommorow I have to go back to school.

Nooo!

I really do not want to go.

You better be in your seats.

I love you all but you gotta be quiet.

Its alls I want.

I don't think I can bear another one of those.

Ketchup.

I love it.

Its good with eggs.

And cheeseburgers.

And chicken tenders.

But strangely I don't like it with french fries.

My Daddy says;

Little girl, eat it the right ay.

My Daddy is rather funny.

He makes me laugh.

I just watched the last episode of ; The Pick up Artist.

Simione won.

I knew it all slong.

It was the hat.

Yeee Hah.

That was it.

The secret ingrediant.

Ohh and those two cd's I got last time.

Were Day and Age by the Killers.

And the songs from the musical West Side Story.

I liked West Side Stroy better.

Day and Age didn't rock my world.

I only really liked Human.

Balloons are still floating around.

And I realized that I was not the center of attention any longer.

No longer an only child.

My little brother took that from me.

Along with my pureness and innocence.

Now he owned it.

Well when he's older we're going to have fun.

Climbing trees.

Making sand castles.

Listening to music.

Dancing randomly.

Laughing.

Joking.

Watching.

Concepts on the opposite sex.

Pushing each other.

Eating.

All that good stuff.

I watched the Family Man yesterday.

I didn't really like it.

The ending was a little rough.

But I do like Nicholas Cage.

This is Toss Across!

I used to love it when I was a kid.

That was just a line from a Christmas movie.

My science fair log book.

Is empty.

Seriously.

There is like nothing in it.

I remember there was a time when I said I would never stop believing in fairy tales.

And look at me now.

Not believing.

Being a total hypocrite.

I hate when you turn on your own self.

It is a really bad feeling.

Like what I'm feeling now.

Chirstmas is almost coming.

Tell me if you are of a different religion besides Roman Catholic do you celebrate it?

Just wondering.

I read in a ya book that they do.

Meli <3

And remember....

Humor is a gift from God.

Later

2008-11-30T08:35:00.002-05:00

Well I promise to post more later.

Its just that I have to be somewhere by nine.

Yes.

I got five comments yesterday.

Thats the most comments I have ever gotten.

I was so happy.

And.....

My cousin is back.

Yes.

But she is not going to be in the mood to talk b/c she is sick.

CRAP!

I have to go.

Bye.

Myself.

My Butter

2008-11-29T11:17:00.003-05:00

Well today is my brother's birthday.

Its a Sesame Street themed party.

Oh yeah.

Picked it out myself.

Got him two gifts.

Bubbles.

And play doe.

Both of which I am highly fond of.

The bubbles are scented.

And the play doe in different colors.

Its practically my birthday party too.

Seriously.

What will we fill the pinata with?

Candy?

Celery?

Both?

Gross.

Well my brother looks so cute.

I am going to start calling him my butter.

Because he is chubby and fat.

Ha.

My butter.

Well.

My Daddy is off to get "the-cake-you-can-play-with."

Once again I ask you my fellow bloggers; Can't you play with all cakes?

It was my Mommy's idea.

Family will be here.

Wondered if I should have invited friends.

But honeslty...

I would not like them to come to my baby brother's birthday party.

No offense if you are out their.

Wink wink.

I am still debating the items to put in the pinatas.

Hmmm...

Any ideas?

Bloggers.

The party is on its way.

I wish my cousin were here.

But sadly she is not.

She is in another city.

South of me.

Probably has a cold.

I am sorry if you are sick, nenna.

Nenna is my nick name for her.

She is my best friend.

My real lover.

The one who I would also die for.

We practically tell each other everything.

Everything.

Nenna what do you fear the most?

Fear itslef.

Teddy Rosevelt said that.

I know.

I love that line.

So do I.

You know that line right?

We have nothing to fear but fear itslef.

Coolness.

I love it.

I watched White Chicks yesterday.

I love that movie.

It makes me laugh.

Heres a line from it;

A white girl with an ass of a black girl.

The movie itself is pretty stupid.

But it is one of those stupid movies thats sooo stupid that makes you laugh so hard it makes your belly ache.

Either that or you have to pee really bad.

Waiting for the truck to come by.

The thundering engine.

Thats how you know Christine is near.

By the engine roaring.

Wish my butter a happy birthday.

Darling Dears Thanks

2008-11-28T18:20:00.002-05:00

Does anyone really want to know me more?

Huh?

Anyone...

Well.

I am going to do a survey.

Darling Dears and Ana gave me the idea.

So yeah.

Sorry if you do not like it if I copied you.

1. Are you straight? I question my sexuality. Although I am 99% positive I am straight.

2. What bothers you the most? When people act dumb. No wait when people pretend to be something they are not.

3. Do you have any siblings? Yes. But he's a half brother.

4. Your favorite show? That 70's Show

5. Is there anything you do not like about your body? Hmmm. Nope only my legs right after shaving. They are all scaly and ugly.

6. Do you cry a lot? Yes especially after seeing a sad movie or after seeing something that is emotional that I can relate too.

7. Do you have a crush? No not at the moment. But I was watching the '90's hottest celebrities and Marky Mark aka Mark Wahlberg was so muscular and hot.

8. Do you laugh at stupid things? Yes.

9. What is your favorite word that you know? Loliggaging

10. Your favorite color? Well. It is more like a shade but black. I am not goth. It is just that I like how it blends in with other colors.

11. Do you know anyone you dislike greatly? Yes.

12. What is thier name? Lets call the group "plastics"

13. When was the last time anyone hit on you? In sixth grade. I was surprised by my courage to respond but I did. But too bad the dude is taken.

14. Who do you love? My mommy.

15. Would you die for this person, willingly? Definetly.

16. If someone harmed that person what would you do? It depends. But I would get them back REAL good. And I am not kidding. I would.

17. What makes you happy? My family and friends.

18. Has anyone ever hurt you physically? No. I am thankful for that.

19. Any books you have read recently? Look for me by Moonlight. It was a love story. But I was really dissapointed when there was a vampire in it. At least in being in love with the girl he tried to kill her. But wait isn't that a bad thing? Yeah. But at least it is not like TWILIGHT!

20. What do you think people see in you the first time they see you? Sacagawea.

21. Do racist people disgust you? Hell yeah.

22. Do you know any? Yeah. But I hate them any way.

23. If you broke out in song what would you sing? I'm a goofy goober now. Just kidding.... I would sing I feel pretty. It was in the musical WEST SIDE STORY.

24. Your favorite actress? Catherine Zeta Jones

Well I am tired of typing sooo...

I am going to stop.

Love you all people.

Infinte x's and o's.

Effin is a word.

Maybe I made it maybe I did not?

The world will never know.

Me and Myslef.

Black Friday

2008-11-28T12:40:00.002-05:00

Woke up today feeling like crap by my "sister."

Around sevenish.

And that was early considering we did not have any school.

We went shopping and it was Black Friday.

Hey we had to live it up to its name.

First we went up to Styles.

Then Target.

And it was mobbbed.

I bought two cds.

Something I have never done in my life.

Buying a cd.

Yes!

I want to go to the library and get some new books.
But my 'rents are not in the mood for driving me there.

And neither am I.

Although I would like to read a really good book.

Any recommandations??

Uhhh...all my books are just I don't know.

About retarded teenagers.

No teenagers are not usually retarded.

And survey says that, that is not the most difficult age for people.

Middle school is!

I never knew that.

Middle school girls getting pregnant?

What the hell has happened to thid world?

Ohh and I made a new word.

Effin.

If you do not want to say the "f-word" all you do is say is effin.

For example:

Take your effin hands away from me.

Its sorta stupid but hey if you are one of those people who is holy and does not like to swear.

Then I approve for your use of..!

EFFIN!

Ha.

Well my Daddy called me.

And he is going to buy me a book instead.

Yes!

I love books.
See how little things like that make me happy?

Yes they do!

Thanksgiving was fulling.

I had some pecan and pumpkin pie.

They were soooo good.

Yummy.

I am so glad.

Everything was delicious.

Well goobye.

Oh one more thing I am watching Bring it On.

Bye for real this time.

Andrew's birthday is tommorow.

Pinatas.

There will be two.

Cake.

You can play with it.

Wait can't you play with all cake?

Thats waht I said.

But who knows.

Goodbye.

Blog

2008-11-27T11:15:00.002-05:00

I made another blog and deleted the other blog.

I like the other new blog I made.

It is more image-like.

Well.

Hmmmm.

Bye.

;)

Obvious

2008-11-27T09:34:00.003-05:00

Well it is obvious that Darling Dears knows very well who I am.

I put in some new pictures on the right.

And I love every single one of them.

They just seem to give you a message.

I don't know.

Well Mommy and Andrew will be here soon.

And I cannot wait.

Yep.

Does anyone know what today is?

Thanksgiving.

I am going to have a turkey and some pumpking pie!

Yes.

I love all those things.

Yummy.

Well not the turkey.

Some people have nice figures.

I mean really nice.

And all.

And thats fine.

But there is such thing as modesty.

Honestly.

Sluts.

Thats what they are called.

Stick out your butt purposely and then they call you a slut.

Thats what happens.

People have labeled you for life.

Now you are stuck with a horrible nick name.

This has never happened to me and honestly I am glad.

Well...

There is going to be a new Harry Potter movie and I so will see it.

Daniel Radcliffe.

Emma Watson.

The red head guy's name who I do not know.

Him too.

I love them all.

I wonder how old they are???

Does anyone know?

Comment.

If you do know.

Comment even if you do not know.

Well I am going to read my book.

Deenie.

Bye.

Happy Thanksgiving.

Gobble gobble.

Fun Fun Fun

2008-11-26T08:47:00.000-05:00

Today there is going to be a whole lot of fun.

With big balls.

Don't get the wrong idea.

Those balls were made for rolling down a lane.

A slippery lane.

Bowling!

I am going to have soo much fun.

I even think I might finish reading my book.

Yes.

Well Smorgan confessed that he/she loves the All American Rejects.

So do I.

Growing up is a major pain.

All those hairs you have to shave.

Gaining weight.

Pimples.

Lovers who may break your heart.

Does this fit or not?

Does he/she like me?

I have this sweat shirt that I love.

Its my Daddy's old college sweat shirt.

Its sort of big but very comforatble.

I was thinking of names to call myself and I made up a good one.

Although I am not going to share it with you because it is very embarassing.

But funny.

Any crushes?

No none.

A boy comes to mind that I think likes me.

Do I like him?

When I see his face it makes me laugh.

Not because he is ugly...

But because he just is a freak.

But he makes me laugh.

Not really.

I make him laugh.

I used to like him.

Shhh!

But not anymore.

No sir.

For real.

Stephanie is gone and I really miss her.

I wonder what she's up to.

Eating a hot dog?

Broad way?

Watching a movie?

Taking a taxi?

In the empire state building??

Who knows.

I wish I did.

What comes to mind is You truely know how much you love someone when they are no longer with you.

That is what I am thinking.

I hope she is having fun.

Laughing.

Smiling.

Not being a wet blanket.

She isn't like that.

Is she?

Nooo...

At least not with me.

Well I have to go buy some turkey for Thanksgiving.

Yummy.

And some other stuff.

So goodbye.

Loads of love for those who follow and comment.

Thanks.

Bye.

Nope

2008-11-25T19:23:00.000-05:00

Darling Dears thinks she knows who I am.

Well..

Hmmm???

I know who she is.

I know who Finn is.

I know everything.

Well, not everything but most of it.

My book was starting to get good when...

A freaking vampire came in.

I was like what???

Another vampire love story???

Nooo!!!!

Please no.

Well only one good thing came out of it.

The vampire did not really love the girl.

He pretended to love the girl.

Vincent you bastard!

How could you just suck my blood and leave me here, and not love me?

Well I will tell you why.

He is a vampire.

That is an original vampire.

The way I will always remember a vampire.

Being in a coffin.

No light.

Fangs!

Suck your blood and kill you.

I am not like a vampire obssesed Twilighter.

I AM NOT!

I am so tired of hearing all this Bella and Edward crap.

Edward won't you be my lover???

Oh my lordie.

I just do not like that book because of people's obssesion.

Does anyone like Leanordo Dicrapio?

I do.

I am not obssesed but man...

He is so pulchritodonous...

I love him.

Haaa.

It makes me smile.

Laugh, laugh.

What else to talk about???

Sexy Back.

When I first heard that song I literally thought someone had a sexy back.

Your voice is a combination of Fergie and Jesus!

I heard that on t.v and I started cracking up.

Ha ha.

Thanks for being a fan.

One Word

2008-11-25T15:01:00.000-05:00

Benji I meant to put "The Hoe Depot."

Anway...

My tongue is blue from sucking on a lollipop.

I saw an old man.

He was weak and alone.

Helplessly trying to get in the car.

I felt bad.

I wanted to go over to him and help him in.

But what would he think or say?

Get your filthy hands off me?

Or thanks.

There's also the possibilty of a racist remark..

Where I might get angry.

And you don't want me angry..

Because I cuss and hit and yell and all of the above.

Sorry.

The old man was very sad.

Just another point of the sorrow we have in this world.

That really is sorrowish.

Oh and another point...

I saw a homless man with a suitcase and a small backpack.

Sneaking into a part of the woods.

What a pity.

Told my folks but they did not say a word.

What would they have to say?

I do not know.

I cannot even say anything.

I am... how do you call it???

Speechless.

Donkeys with no Brains

2008-11-24T21:20:00.000-05:00

We laughed.

We sang.

We enjoyed.

We hysterically laughed.

We chuckled.

Our eyes widended.

It was a long day.

At first we were all bored.

Then we actually had the "day."

It was fun.

We learned.

Saw an armadillo for the first time in my life!

Yes!

Then we went back and saw The Hoe Depot.

They were holidng hands.

Was I jealous?

No.

But I know what I was missing.

I could not help but feeling a little lonley.

Enough of that.

The most fun we had was coming back.

Giggiling and everything.

Ha ha ha.

I can do it all over again.

The Cool Crew called me a freak.

Screw them.

They are asses.

With no brains.

Just imagine it a donkey with no brain.

Yep.

Thats them.

Asses with no brain.

Hee heee hoo hoo.

Hilarious.

Why aren't you friends with them?

Because.

Thats not a good enough reason.

Well if you must know I do not like them because they are mean.

Mean?

Yes.

No way.

Yes way.

They are funny.

I guess so.

????

But maybe if they could act less assy.

FREAK!

Whatever you say.

You like this post.

Comment.

Please.
Thanks.

Anger

2008-11-24T19:27:00.000-05:00

When I read Jaerixon's something post I was sort of angry.

Like a what the hell kind of angry.

But then I realized.

That he was partially right.

I do care about my education.

I did not mean I do not worry about grades and all that because I do.

But that is what she always talks to me about.

Always saying it is soooo important.

So this and that.

And I understand.

But imagine her always telling you about education.

Not about love.

Or boys.

Or any of that.

How the hell would you feel?

When she's not around to giude you?

Huh?

You F ing tell me how you feel.

Because dammit I am angry.

Dammit.

I dream.

Of things that may never come true.

Because I do.

And if people tell me to grow up.

I will not.

First of all you are probably not grown up.

And you don't do what I at least try to do.

Step in other people's shoes.

Okay I am going to go cool off.

Bye.

Comment please.

It is What It Is

2008-11-23T10:48:00.000-05:00

My dream is not to figure out where to put nuclear waste.

It is not to be the smartest person on Earth.

It is not to be a good kisser.

Or to be a stripper.

Gross.

It is to fall in love.

All she ever talks about is how important my education is.

I am sick of it.

I am smart.

My education is not what I am worried about.

I want to meet someone.

Who makes me laugh.

And smile.

And feel that feeling.

Thats so irresistible.

I want the real deal not that only-to-have-sex-with-you-stuff.

Thats wrong.

Super wrong.

I hate people like that.

Man/woman hoes.

It disgusts me.

Seriously.

Many people don't know what love is.

I am not sure what love is.

But I think its wonderful.

It is every good feeling that has ever been felt in the history of ever.

It is fast.

And lovely.

And beautiful.

Love is love.

Barbie Meets Ken

2008-11-22T15:26:00.000-05:00

I have never been kissed on the lips before.

I am not ready for that yet.

When I am older.

Maybe even drunk.

But I don't wannna be drunk when I have my first kiss.

I want to be surprised.

I want to be impressed.

I want to be in love.

Its almost the same way, when I do "it."

I don't want to do it with just anybody.

I want it to be extra-ordinary.

I want everything to be special.

But nothing ends up that way.

Everything so far has just happened with a poof!

Like all of a sudden, I have an ability to make other people laugh.

Or suprisingly I make friends with everyone I say "hi" to.

All of a sudden my "friends" exclude me from a lot.

But I don't want it to just happen.

I want it to be a Barbie meets Ken moment.

Exclusion Hurts

2008-11-21T20:10:00.000-05:00

I felt left out.

Totally ex-cluded.

A freak.

A total left out.

And now there off somewhere.

Was I invited?

Was this a school thing?

I certainly was not aware of it.

I'm not "cool" material.

What the hell.

I don't care.

Okay, maybe I do.

I cannot help it.

I'm stuck here watching caveman commercials.

Watching John Trovolta.

Everything except that.

Exclusion hurts.

Especailly when you thought you were in.

But you were really a decoy.

Merely, an obsatcle.

That they just knocked down with a painful kick.

Them

2008-11-20T20:15:00.000-05:00

I am ashamed to be a part of it.

I never wanted to be like that.

Always saying they are freaks.

Always making fun of them.

Always excluding them.

I never wanted to do that.

So why is it that when the world tells me to do those things that I do?

I am such an ass.

A hypocrite.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I cannot figure myself out.

I try not to make fun of them.

Why?

I think the true reason for that is that maybe I am one of them??

I do not know.

I am scared to be one of them.

I don't know why.

I don't know.

Easier

2008-11-19T19:50:00.000-05:00

I like who I am.
I honestly do.
I like what I look like, my sense of humor; everything.
It’s just that sometimes it seems that the male gender has an easier time.
They won’t get pregnant.
They won’t be disappointed easily.
They won’t feel guilty if they’re “players.”
They don’t cry because they feel like it.
I am not saying I don’t like being a female.
I am only saying that sometimes it seems easier for guys.
I don’t know.
I wonder?

A %&#$@

2008-11-19T18:53:00.000-05:00

I was at a photo shoot today.

I mean I am not a super model or anything.

It's just that my Dad had his job thingy.

I met firefighters.

They were supposed to be hot but they were not.

Anyway.

It was cold.

And I couldn't help feeling cold.

I felt so empty and sad.

And lonely.

And like a total bio-tch.

If you don't like cursing I'm sorry.

But that is totally how I felt.

Like a royal bitch.

We always spend our time feeling sorry for ourselves.

And now look at me.

I always feel bad for myself and now I am a bitch?

But hey I guess thats life.

"Different"

2008-11-18T17:23:00.000-05:00

I knew something bad she had done.

I'm not sure I wanted to tell but I did not know what to do.

I was scared and angry.

She had "commited a crime."

Like she always accused us of doing.

What a hypocrite.

She has always been that way.

Ever since I knew her.

When I first came to the school peole warned me about her.

And now I knew.

I knew who and what she was.

I felt bad for her.

She was wierd.

Different.

If I was trying to be nice.

I wondered what it was like to be her.

Did she feel like shit everyday she woke up?

Did she know that no one liked her?

Did she realize how "different" she was?

I wonder.

I have to admit it, if I were her.

Wow.

I don't know what I would have done.

Suicide.

That is probably something she thinks about a lot.

A lot.

Its scary.

I'm scared for her.

Is there any word to describe her?

My Good Day

2008-11-17T20:34:00.000-05:00

Strangely today I had a good day.

I mean in my real world there are no such days as super-duper good days.

There are only the okay good days.

Anyway I made people laugh.

I always love making people laugh.

I drew the water and nitrogen cycle.

I'm not an artist but I have to say it was pretty good.

I am watching Santa Baby remembering the good old days.

When I used to lick cheeto cheese of my fingers.

I still do that.

EEEEEWWW!

I remember things.

Things most people would forget.

This Call

2008-11-16T18:54:00.000-05:00

I am growing up faster and faster.

I'm yelling at you to come closer.

You can't hear me.

I'm yelling at you louder and stronger with tears in my eyes.

But, you still can't hear me.

You cannot hear that call for help I have been sending to you my whole life.

I'm tired of those excuses.

I'm growing weak.
The only thing that can make me stronger is you to be closer to me.

I'm not going to shout.

I'm not going to scream.

I will be waiting for you to answer my call.

All it takes is for you to come closer.

Please, I'm begging you to hear this call of need.

A Cause and Effect Moment

2008-11-15T10:56:00.000-05:00

Yesterday was the school social.

I guess you can say it was fun.

I danced with my friends.

They danced with me.

Some of my buds slow danced with their " boy... friends."

I did not dance with any boy.

I'm okay with that.

But, I have to admit when the slow dance songs came on I couldn't help but feel a little empty.

When I came home my feet hurt so much.

I missed so much, because I went to the dance.

His first steps.

His shock when he took them.

The ice cream eating with my parents.

I love ice cream.

Everything becasue I just HAD to go this social.

I missed everything because of the social.

When I could have been home having a whole other party with the people who truely love me.

I could have been home with non-hurting feet.

But I was at the social.

Because, because, because.

I guess you can call it cause and effect.

Hurting

2008-11-13T19:38:00.000-05:00

Are you supposed to love those who have hurt those you love?

I am not sure.

But I sure don't.

He hurt her.

Not physically.

But mentally.

I hate him.

I really do.

Sure, God would love me to love him but I cannot.

I cannot.

I simply cannot love him.

He is a horrible man who did a horriblething.

He broke her heart when she needed him.

He broke my heart because I was inside her.

He acts like he loves me.

I don't know if I should trust him.

For right now I won't.

There is nothing else to say.

Love

2008-11-13T06:51:00.000-05:00

I really love it when people comment my work it makes me feel appreciated.

Thanks for those of you who commented.

Thanksgiving is coming up soon.

Have you figured out what to be thankful for?

I am thankful for being loved.

I am thankful that there are people who love me back like my friends and family.

Anyway I thought about something when I was pouring some grape juice into a cup.

I thought about love.

I mean really love?

What is it?

We all think love is uncomplicated and easy.

But is it?

In The Secret Life of Bee's Queen Latifah thinks other wise.

But I am not sure.

All I know is I want to fall in love with someone.

Who will always love me.

And never forget me.

I'm not sure that will ever happen.

But I'll keep hoping.

A Way of Life

2008-11-12T17:48:00.000-05:00

All around me I hear people talking to me.

They are talking nonsense.

They are talking reality.

Damn I do hate reality.

It's like that huge zit on your face that everyone notices when they talk to you.

Laughing, they say is good for the heart.

I love to laugh.

But beware when I laugh.

It is really odd.

My mouth goes into an O-shape.

And bamm it like a hyena.

But laughing is like my way of living.

The way I am classified.

People say hey you're that dudet it with a wierd laugh.

Yep thats me.

But I'm okay with that.

I love to laugh.

I wish I could have someone who makes me laugh all day long.

I wish I could be with someone who always puts a grin on my face.

I wish.

I just keep on wishing.

All I practicually do is wish and laugh and cry and be depressed.

And all that crap.

But enough of me.

Tell me do you enjoy laughing.

Like me?

Or do you think laughing is a waste?

Remember to some people laughing is a way of life.

Or in some cases it is thier life.

Everyone

2008-11-11T20:13:00.000-05:00

You know what I like about little children?

Before, you get any strange ideas I'm not a perveted freak.

But my point is the following.

I love their pureness and innocence.

I love how they can be so clueless and not worry about anything.

I wish I were like that.

Pure and innocent.

And of course I am not pure.

Are all my thoughts or dreams pure?

No!

Little children they are exactly like puppies.

They play with you and they let you pet them and they are easily fooled.

But I think everyone around us are like little children.

We are easily fooled by something.

We are all a little clueless.

Are we all little children?

I think you can say we are.

Nothing Special

2008-11-10T20:34:00.000-05:00

I'm looking out the window and I can feel the wind blow through my hair.

It feels good.

I check myslef out in the mirror, nothing special.

I'm thinking about my day, my life, my everything.

I feel pathetic.

I feel like a weiner in a land of beautiful hamburgers.

How awful is that?

A Land of beautiful hamburgers?

Anyway, I am quite unique.

It started with my dad and mom and you can figure out the rest.

What a jerk he was.

I have not forgiven him yet.

But now the person I see in the mirror that has nothing special is me.

The person I am today.

What a drag.

Get the hell over it.

I should.

Someone guide me.

My Own Little World

2008-11-10T11:49:00.000-05:00

I live in my own little world where everything is perfect.

Everything here is graceful and peaceful.

It is nothing like the real world where I live in.

In my real world there is suffering and sorrow.

Do you know how tired I am of sorrow?

Nobody does.

I AM TIRED OF SORROW, I WANT TO BE HAPPY!

Did everyone hear that?

Someone?

Please listen to me.

Anyone?

Can you hear me?